Why You Need a Village: The Importance of Postnatal Support
You’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “it takes a village to raise a child”. But in a fast-paced, hyper-independent world, especially in cities like London where many of us live separately from family, or childhood friends, were often left wondering ‘where IS this village they are talking about’?
At Gathered, we meet mums every week who say the same thing: “I had no idea how lonely it would feel.” Even the most loved, wanted, delightful baby makes a terrible conversationalist in a long, structureless day.
Whether it’s your first baby or your third, the postnatal period is a huge transition, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. This process is so huge it has it’s own name, ‘matrescence’, and yet, too often, we’re left to navigate it on our own.
Here’s why finding great postnatal support, your modern-day village as it were, isn’t just a “nice to have”. It’s an essential.
💛 You’ve changed, and you deserve space to process that
The moment you become a mother, your whole world shifts. So do your relationships, your identity, your priorities, your body, your sleep, your sense of self. This process, known as ‘matrescence’ is a bit like the huge shifts in adolescence, but for mothers.
But while everything is changing on the inside, the outside world often only sees the baby, or focuses on you ‘getting back’ to how you were before.
Postnatal support is about finding space to focus on you and how you’ve changed in this transition. A place to feel heard. To say the hard things out loud. To feel like you're not the only one who finds it hard, or weird, or wonderful, or all three in one day.
🤝 You’re not meant to do this alone
In many traditional cultures, mothers are surrounded in the early weeks. They are fed, cared for, and never left to figure it all out by themselves. But modern motherhood, especially in the UK, often looks very different: short partner leave, family far away, friends working, and a culture that praises bouncing back over slowing down.
That’s where the right support can really make a difference. Whether it’s a conversation circle, a WhatsApp message, or a 3am message saying “me too”, knowing you’re not alone can shift everything.
🧠 Mental health matters
Isolation in the postnatal period is one of the biggest risk factors for postnatal depression and anxiety. Supportive, non-judgemental connection, whether with peers or professionals, can make a huge difference to how we experience those early months and years. Whilst it’s not a substitute for medical support or therapy if needed, sometimes just having a place to talk, cry, laugh or not explain yourself is enough to lift the weight a little.
👶 It’s not just about the baby—it’s about you
New mums are often told to join baby groups and these are brilliant! They offer company, connection with your baby, ideas for interaction, and lots of fun. But baby groups alone aren’t always enough. Sometimes you want a deeper conversation than this format allows for, to talk about identity, relationships, anger, joy, your body, your career, your fears, your dreams.
At Gathered, our groups are built around you, not your baby. You’re the focus. And that’s not selfish, it’s truly important.
🌿 So where do you find your village?
The good news is: your village doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be real (and, preferably local)
It might be:
A weekly group with space to talk
One or two other mums you message in the night
A facilitator who holds space without judgement
A local community that makes you feel like you belong
That’s what we offer at Gathered. Real talk, real connection, and a softly held space to find yourself in the shifting sands of early motherhood.
💬 Final thoughts
Motherhood can be absolutely magic. It can also be messy, maddening, and totally overwhelming. The difference usually isn’t whether you’re “doing it right”. It’s whether you feel supported.
Come and join us, we’d love to welcome you into the Gathered community and hope we can be the ‘village’ you need.